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Hello freedom loving Americans.  I have come here today to lets you all know that there done be no need for ya-all to be lookin’ into who is to blame for the whole shenanigan about the federal government not helpin’ them poor hurricane victims right quick.  I, your president, will look into this myself and I will figure out who done need to be blamed.  Ya-all don’t worry, I’ll get this done before your grandmother can say impeachment.

 6 months later……

 Good-day ya-all freedom lovin’ Americans.  I have come to you with the good news that I, by my self, have figured out who is to blame for that horrible hurricane… It was Al-Quiada.  This is why we must rally our troops together in order to crush the freedom haters.  In response to this act of terrorism we have gotten ready to attack Iran.  We have strong British intelligence that indicates that Al-Quiada and Iran were in this hurricane business together. Iran has been in on this all along because they hate our freedom, they have WMD’s and Nuclear weapons.  We will destroy those enemies of freedom.  In conclusion, buy your freedom fries, boycott the French and get ready for a good old American Freedom Lovin’ War, not for Oil but for a lot of oil…I mean freedom!  Go America and god bless texas!  And no gay marriage! Gays are enemies of freedom!